What's in a name.....

According to studies by the National Center for Family and Marriage Research, the number of couples living together before marriage has increased exponentially in the last three decades. The couples come to this decision for many reasons and thus, they begin to live and settle into routines that used to be delayed until after the wedding. As they go through Premarital Counseling program, one of the questions we ask is: What do you think will be different after the wedding? Almost all of the couples that are already cohabitating answer "nothing". Then we follow up with a question to the bride to be: Will you be taking his name or keeping yours? The majority of our clients reply that yes, they will be taking their husband's name, and there is usually a change in their energy and a smile on both of their faces. It’s one of those “aha! moments” when they realize some things will be different.

Taking the husband’s surname is more than an old-fashioned or antiquated patriarchal custom. Assuming the same "family name" – whether it’s the bride taking the groom’s name, the groom taking the bride’s name, or them settling on a whole new name – it messages to the world (including their own children) that both partners are all in, one unit, one team. It messages to the world that they are joining forces and nothing's gonna stop them now. It creates the ultimate change in a relationship, taking them from "me and you" to "us".