5 Questions Before Marriage

Getting engaged is one of the most exciting milestones in life. The ring, the “yes,” the planning—all of it marks the start of something new. But before you jump into cake tastings and color palettes, there’s a more important kind of preparation that often gets overlooked: emotional readiness.

At Loran Coaching, we help couples slow down and ask the questions that really matter—the ones that reveal not just if you’re ready for marriage, but why.
Here are five of the most important questions to reflect on—together or on your own—before saying “I do.”

1. Why Do I Want to Be Married?

This might sound simple, but it’s the most revealing question of all.

Is your desire to marry rooted in love, companionship, and a shared vision—or is it influenced by external pressure? Maybe your friends are getting married, or your family keeps asking, “When’s it your turn?”

The strongest marriages are built on intentional choice, not obligation or momentum.
When your “why” comes from within, it becomes the anchor that holds you steady when things get hard.

2. Why Now?

Timing matters.

Are you both in a season of life where marriage feels like a natural next step? Or does it feel like something you should do because of age, timelines, or convenience?

Ask yourself if you’re emotionally and mentally ready to merge two lives—finances, goals, and everyday decisions.
Marriage doesn’t require perfection, but it does require readiness to grow together.

3. Why This Person?

You probably know all the things you like about your partner—but do you know why they’re your person?

Ask yourself:

• What values do we share?

• How do we handle conflict or disappointment?

• Do we bring out the best in each other?

The goal isn’t to find someone perfect. It’s to choose someone you can build a healthy, evolving relationship with—someone whose character and values make them a safe person to do life with.

4. What Do I Expect from Marriage?

Every relationship has expectations—spoken or unspoken. Some expect marriage to bring security, partnership, emotional support, or stability. Others expect more freedom, more adventure, or a shared mission.

There’s no “right” answer—but being clear about what you hope to experience can prevent resentment later.
Write it down. Say it out loud. Let your partner know what truly matters to you.

5. What Does My Partner Expect from Me?

This one might be the hardest to answer—but it’s also the most powerful.

Take a step back and think: What does my partner need from me to feel loved, supported, and secure? Are those things I can genuinely and consistently give?

Great marriages are built on mutual awareness—not guessing games. When both partners understand and respect each other’s needs, everything else flows more easily.

💬 Try This Together

Sit down with your partner and discuss each question. Take turns answering without interrupting, then reflect:

• Where are we completely aligned?

• Where are we different—but still respectful?

• Which areas might need more conversation before we say “yes”?

The goal isn’t to get identical answers—it’s to create clarity, honesty, and confidence in your decision.

Final Thoughts

Marriage isn’t just a milestone—it’s a merging of lives, goals, and values.
Taking the time to answer these five questions honestly is one of the most loving things you can do for your future together.

When you know your why, your when, and your who, you’re not just getting engaged—you’re building the foundation for a lifetime.

If you’re ready to take that next step intentionally, our Premarital Counseling Program can guide you through these conversations with structure, insight, and care.